We have a wonderfully close group of friends that we went to undergrad with. There are literally 30 something of us and we are unusually close friends, we say we are more like a family then friends. We were all members of FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) at UF and we went to church together for the most part. We love to have fun at Gator football games and all have so much in common mainly that we place God first in our lives (Gators are pretty high on the list as well!). I could never ask for a better group of friends.
However, since we have been TTC 3 friends have now become pregnant. One friend got pregnant the first month they were trying. Sadly they were pregnant with twins and she miscarried one of the twins very early on when we were actually all together. She delivered a healthy beautiful baby boy last week. The next friends to get pregnant got pregnant month 3. We saw her about a month and half ago and she is doing great and is due in January. This morning we got an email from another friend that she is pregnant and due in May. She and her husband have only been married about a year and I was forewarned that she wanted to get pregnant asap (her husband is in his mid-40's she is 28) so of course I am happy for her that it worked the way she planned.
I have always been the "mom" in the group. I plan most of our get togethers, I host a lot of them during football season. I am even the one to organize us buying presents for each other (including baby presents recently). I have always wanted to be the first or one of the first to get pregnant in our group. That is just not in the plans. Very few of our friends know what is going on. We just haven't been very open with them all since when we are all together it is rare and we keep the conversation fun and not focused on hard things in life. DP has talked to one of the guys and his wife and I have talked but other than that no one really knows. Some know we were talking about trying but have not really followed up to see if we really are. I love our friends like family and want the best for them. I really am thrilled that there will be little ones in the group soon. I just want them to all be excited for us when it is our turn. I want them to know how hard this really was for us and that we did not get pregnant the first or third month. We took years and we had to use IVF!!!! Happy for them all but feeling left behind....
I know that feeling all too well of being left behind. It's a common one that you often face in the TTC process. When I feel this way, I just thank God that the couple was able to get pregnant so easily and that they never had to endure the heartache of losing a baby, trying and trying for months or years on end, or the stress and turmoil of fertility treatments. I would never wish this road on anyone...not even my worst enemy (not that I have one). This takes it from feeling sorry for myself to feeling happy for someone else, and I always seem to feel a little better.
ReplyDeleteI know without a doubt that God will bless both of us with babies...in His time.
I just read through all your posts and look forward to continuting to follow your journey!
Hugs,
Kara
www.waitingonbabyb.wordpress.com
Thank you so much Kara! I am so thankful that our friends are not having to go through what we are, becaue I agree I would not wish it upon my worse enemy (I don't have any either!). The feeling of being left behind is a common one but as my best friend put it yesterday once you have a baby you catch up really quick!
ReplyDeleteGod has a plan for both us and for our babies! We just have to patient and trust him!