Monday, July 15, 2013

Wednesday July 10, 2013....the whole story!

First let me thank all of you wonderful ladies for you kind words of encouragement and support during this time!!! It has meant the world to me. 

So y'all want to hear the whole story of what actually happened on Wednesday and not just the PG version posted on our other blog?

I slept in til about 11:00 on Wednesday morning because DP and I felt like I was exhausted and really needed to rest while I could.  He does not work on Wednesdays so he got up about 8:30 and went to golf course and to get a hair cut.  I laid in bed for probably 20 minutes after I woke up then drank an ensure (which has been really common for me since I am trying to put on the pounds). I then got my computer and was doing school work in bed.  Around 12 I started to feel something weird in my belly.  I thought it was one of a couple things: I was hungry, I needed to have a bowel movement, or the ligament pain I have had previously back.  So I ate my leftovers from the night before (a wonderful salad by the way) and was able to have a bowel movement.  Now this maybe TMI but it is important, my bowel movement was more like diarrhea but I really did not think anything of it because I had eaten the salad the night before and it was a Mexican salad with some kick I figured little man just didn't like it.  I went back to working on the computer.  About 1:15 DP comes home he eats lunch, we chat and he says he is going to take a shower because we have an OB appointment at 3:30.  While he is taking a shower the pains are back.  I am frustrated thinking the stupid ligament pain is back, so I try to get comfortable and keep working.  About 1:40 he offers to clean the shower, I had ask him to probably 2 weeks ago and he still hadn't done it!  I tell him I want to take a shower first.  I get in the shower and the pressure of standing is insane!  I keep leaning against the wall of the shower letting the warm water run over my back.  Finally I manage to wash my hair and put conditioner in it and get out.  I sit down on our bed and tell DP to get ready we are going to head to the OB's office as soon as I get ready cause something is weird.  I brush my hair sort of put on running shorts and a t-shirt have just DP to hand me a hat to wear and am tying my shoes while sitting on the bed when I feel the most unusually feeling ever!!!! I feel like a water balloon is in my underwear and when I stand up it pops!  Water is going everywhere and I tell DP I think my water just broke.  He ask if I was sure or was I peeing!  Typical guy response right.  I tell him I have never had my water break but I sure wasn't peeing!  I drip to the bathroom where the water just keeps coming.  Sitting on the toilet I start calling one of our doctors while DP is calling another.  I ask him for a change of clothes and I love that he handed me a Polo Ralph Lauren dress out of the closet! Needless to say I ask him to just grab another pair of running shorts.  We rush out the door within 3-5 minutes of my water breaking at the 2:45 at the very most.

The hospital, Shands, is not that far away normally 15 minutes or so, but I can tell you we were there by 3:05 for sure! I kept telling myself not to yell at DP to drive faster or anything even though I really wanted to.  He did a great job of getting us here fast and safe.  We dropped the car off in valet and went to get on the elevators.  Now this one the time I started to panic. These elevators are the slowest ever!!!!! We literally waited for the elevators for about 10 minutes.  Once we got on we only had to go to the 3rd floor and they knew we were coming.  Within 2 minutes of getting to the 3rd floor we were in a triage room and being examined.  The room was flooded with doctors and nurses but I can clearly remember who the doctor was that found our little guys heart beat and said he was still alive! The best sound you can ever hear.  They checked me and I was 1 cm dilated and they began pushing medications. I really don't know what all they pushed except magnesium and steroids.  I got the steroid shot at 4:00 and had already been on the magnesium before that.  Every doctor I ask for was not in the hospital!  My OB did call my cell as we were in the triage room and assured me she was involved and would find out what was happening.  This was a huge relief. 

We were moved pretty fast to a room where the doctors continued to flood the room.  When we told them about his CDH, the situation became so much more serious.  We knew it would but I am not sure we knew how much more serious.  They began to prep me for a c-section because they could not get my contractions to stop or him from having de-cells.  I was scared beyond belief but also in shock.  I could not believe this was all happening to us.  Every time a doctor came in the news got worse.  We were about 9:00 that night he would probably be born and he would only have at most a 2% chance of making it.  They made us make decisions regarding his care that no parent should ever have to make.  The entire time I had done fairly well, no tears, until they told us this and needed our decisions.  It was honestly one of the worst moments of my life ever and I pray I never have to experience a moment like that again.  We began asking a ton of questions and quickly said no to them doing a c-section unless my life was in immediate danger.  We felt that if we did a c-section it would simply be a death sentence for our little man and we were not willing to do that not when he still had a chance.  Everyone seemed surprised at first that we said we were just going to wait it out and see if I went into full labor. 

DP and I sat and just prayed without ceasing for hours!  We prayed for our little man.  We prayed for us and our decisions.  We prayed for the doctors working on us.  We prayed for anything and everything in that moment.  DP's mom and sister were here as were my brother and his wife.  They all 4 knew how serious the situation was and were just as worried as we were.  My parents were in Maine on vacation and the nurse told us we needed to call them and have them come home asap.  Dad was able to get a private jet through his company to pick them up and bring them because all of the flights out of the area were booked for over 24 hours!  They made it to town about 2:30 in the morning.  Our pastor and his wife came to pray with us and help us about 9:30 and it was such a blessing to have them around. 

Everyone left and things calmed down sort of around 1:00 on Thursday morning.  I however did not sleep! I mean how could I??? About 8:00 on Thursday morning doctors and family started to show back up and assess the situation.  They believed that everything was beginning to stabilize but it was too early to tell.  The goal was to make it til Friday at 4 as this would be 48 hours past the first steroid shot meaning it would be in his system and have worked.  Thursday is pretty much a blur to me, I know we changed rooms and that I was more stable and so was he. 

Friday came around and our team of doctors began to show up! I was finally able to breath.  Dr. David Kays who would fix the CDH was back in town and we were able to meet with him.  A plan was made that DP and I are comfortable with and our team.  The ultimate goal is keep little man in place until 34 weeks for sure.  One doctor today said he is pushing for 36-38 weeks which works for me!  We are taking it one day at a time and just praying for God's strength and love and to make all of the right decisions.  We are trusting our team of doctors and praying for 34 weeks.  The key to 34 weeks is that if he should need ECMO for the CDH (it is a ventilation technique a lot of CDH babies need) he can't have it until 34 weeks or 4.4 lbs.  There is a chance he will not need the ECMO ever but that is not a chance we are willing to take.  Anything after 34 weeks will help him to be stronger and more developed. 

I plan to keep using this blog and will post more personal things that we don't want to share with everyone else who is reading our other blog.  Feel free to read both blogs as I love to hear from all of you. Now that I am stuck in bed maybe I will be better at commenting on all of the blogs I read! 


  1. Oh my gosh, I am in tears right now as I read this. I can't even imagine what you, hubby and your entire family are dealing with right now. I am amazed by your strength and faith during this incredibly difficult and scary time. I will continue to pray for you daily, but really put emphasis on the prayer that little man can stay put until 34 weeks, or longer, and that he will continue to get stonger and bigger by the day. I will also be praying for your health as well as the hands and decisions of your physicians. Just praying, praying, praying!


  2. Thank you so much Kara for the kind words and prayers!

  3. I'm kind of speechless. Your strength and faith is inspiring. I will continue to send you nothing but love and good thoughts ((HUGS))

  4. I'm so sorry you're going through this! I can't imagine how you must have felt when the doctors told you you needed a C section and that your little guy had a 2% chance. That brought tears to my eyes, how sad. You and DP are doing amazing, though - you obviously made the right decision declining the C section, since your little guy is still staying put! I'm sure the next 9 weeks or so are going to be very long and trying, but you'll come through this. Every day is another achievement, and another day closer to your goal. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

  5. WOW! I really can't imagine how you have handled all of that... to know that you reached viability, but that it doesn't do your baby boy any good is absolutely heartbreaking! To hear that you're sweet son has a 2% chance at life... ughhh! I'm so sorry girl! I'm praying with you and your family that he will make it to 34 weeks... 9 weeks will never seem so long! My heart breaks for you, but we beleive in a MIGHTY God! Hugs to you sweet friend!