Capture Your Grief- Day 1. Sunrise

I really want to thank Life is Hard for notifying me of the Capture Your Grief Photo Challenge for the month of October through her blog. 
 

Day 1: Sunrise in Sanibel, Florida July 2011 



              

This photo was taken during vacation with DeWayne's family in the summer of 2011.  This was the summer before I went of birth control and we started to "try".  I am not a morning person so to be honest this was the only sunrise photo I could find that  took. 

 

My grief for Jackson has really changed over the past 2.5 months.  While I miss him dearly and wish things had been different, I know he is in such a better place.  I do not cry for him very often anymore.  I can talk about him and smile with no tears.  I can and do look at his pictures often.  I have a peace about his passing and that is really what I see in this picture.  It is a peaceful picture, as we were headed out on the boat before dawn to fish, just DeWayne and I.  The water was calm, there was a breeze, and the world was still sleeping.  All was peaceful.  I know the sun will come up and that with it may come a stormy day full of emotions, but right now it is dawn, beautiful, and peaceful and I am enjoying it.                

 

I have not really posted a lot publicly about Jackson.  All of our close friends of course know and we had posted an announcement on Facebook, but I have not mentioned anything on there since he was born.  Today for the first time, I posted this exact picture on Instagram.  I captioned it and used the #captureyourgrief.  It felt good to be more open and more public about it.  Maybe over this month I can open up even more.